Today is another Blackday! 600 points on the Sensex, have been eroded and the investors have lost more than 75000 crores in last two days!
The FII's have made enough on the market and they are moving out elsewhere (Vietnam may be).
The petrol cost uncertainty, has trigerred this problem!
Funny thing, yesterday a person from HDFC bank calls me to make investment, rightaway saying that this is the time to buy! When I ased him to guarantee my capital, he was shocked!
I can predict market will tank another 2% to 10900, before stabilising! 12000 by July is the bet!
Thursday, April 13, 2006
Tuesday, April 11, 2006
DC Machines cups (1987)
An anecdote - from PSG Tech BE EEE 1986-90 batch.
I call this DC Machines cups (1987)
There was this Lecturer (Senior guy) called Swamy, who was keen on University Senate politics than teaching us in 1987 (III Sem). Out of possible 17 classes, he taught us for 5, and gave a mini quiz on 6th and thats it. Never turned up at classes, and based on the feedback from Seniors, we kept mum, and never told anyone in the Mgmt. Happy with the free class and the World Cup. The evaluation system is marked based ( Internal - 25, Part A - 37.5., B - 37.5), out of which a part is evaluated outside (IIT, BITS or RECs). So all were confident, in the class of 52, that with 62.5 marks in his hands, everyone gets a sure pass @ 50 based on whatever you write .. er... scribble, which was the case with seniors.... the day of reckoning came, and we saw only 9 passed, and rest fluncked at miserable scores. We call that CUP in college lingo, down south. For most, coming from the best of the best schools, with limited engineering seats at PSG comparable to IITs, this was a nightmare, and first of its kind. On seeing this huge flunks, the HOD and the Senior staff and college management, came down to talk to us, and no one, except me asked them why this was not known to them for years. The answer was funny, but I want to keep it for myself!
I call this DC Machines cups (1987)
There was this Lecturer (Senior guy) called Swamy, who was keen on University Senate politics than teaching us in 1987 (III Sem). Out of possible 17 classes, he taught us for 5, and gave a mini quiz on 6th and thats it. Never turned up at classes, and based on the feedback from Seniors, we kept mum, and never told anyone in the Mgmt. Happy with the free class and the World Cup. The evaluation system is marked based ( Internal - 25, Part A - 37.5., B - 37.5), out of which a part is evaluated outside (IIT, BITS or RECs). So all were confident, in the class of 52, that with 62.5 marks in his hands, everyone gets a sure pass @ 50 based on whatever you write .. er... scribble, which was the case with seniors.... the day of reckoning came, and we saw only 9 passed, and rest fluncked at miserable scores. We call that CUP in college lingo, down south. For most, coming from the best of the best schools, with limited engineering seats at PSG comparable to IITs, this was a nightmare, and first of its kind. On seeing this huge flunks, the HOD and the Senior staff and college management, came down to talk to us, and no one, except me asked them why this was not known to them for years. The answer was funny, but I want to keep it for myself!
Wednesday, April 05, 2006
Who pays for new fund expenses?
For the Indian Mutual Funds NFO, they are having a money making funtime. A recent NFO garnered 2700 crore rupees, and imagine, 85 crores were paid as marketing fee for their own subsidiary, for doing nothing!
They are having a ball of time, like paying part of the 6% - upto 3% to their own marketing subsidiary! (Reliance is the only exception - a very good fund, next comes Sahara).
SEBI regulations allow a fund house to spend up to 6 per cent of the amount collected during a new fund offer on initial issue expenses and charge this to fund.
Earlier, funds charged the entire initial issue expenses to the starting NAV, when the fund re-opened for subscription.
As the entire issue expenses were lopped off from the first NAV, a new fund would usually open below par (if the stock market hadn't risen sharply in the meantime).
But over the past couple of years, fund houses have moved to a practice where initial issue expenses are "amortised", or spread out equally over a five-year period.
This prevents a new fund's opening NAV from taking a knock, instead phasing out the impact of issue expenses on the NAV over its first five years.
They are having a ball of time, like paying part of the 6% - upto 3% to their own marketing subsidiary! (Reliance is the only exception - a very good fund, next comes Sahara).
SEBI regulations allow a fund house to spend up to 6 per cent of the amount collected during a new fund offer on initial issue expenses and charge this to fund.
Earlier, funds charged the entire initial issue expenses to the starting NAV, when the fund re-opened for subscription.
As the entire issue expenses were lopped off from the first NAV, a new fund would usually open below par (if the stock market hadn't risen sharply in the meantime).
But over the past couple of years, fund houses have moved to a practice where initial issue expenses are "amortised", or spread out equally over a five-year period.
This prevents a new fund's opening NAV from taking a knock, instead phasing out the impact of issue expenses on the NAV over its first five years.
Wednesday, March 29, 2006
Tamilnadu Assembly Elections May 2006
This year, the Tamilnadu Assembly Elections to be conducted on May 8, 2006 seems to be a keen contest all over. We may not see this fervour of Dravidian parties, again ever!
The ruling AIADMK party (seat sharing with MDMK), is pitted against a formidable alliance of the DMK, minus MDMK. This is 34.65% against 57% vote bank, based on the last election in 2004. There is always 10 to 12.5% people in the undecided category, voting for the anti-incumbency!
Now DMDK - the party founded by Vijaykant and AIFB (original) headed by Karthik and BJP, plus JP, Pudhiya Thamilagam, along with other sundry parties, including the Agriculturists Party, might make a great impact and might even win! (130 out of 234, with a 33% vote bank)
All parties are trying to make the best, well educated, mannered and the best possible winnable candidates presented to people. All are willing to work for the people, giving away their efforts and hard earned cash!
Now it takes a whopping effort for the people, for all, to go out and vote and make their right choice.
Looking for ward for the results on May 13th, 2006. Stars are indicating that Vijaykant is the next Chief Minister of Tamilnadu, if he aligns with the BJP, JP, AIFB, Pudhiya Thamilagam and other parties - working on a co-alition government...
The ruling AIADMK party (seat sharing with MDMK), is pitted against a formidable alliance of the DMK, minus MDMK. This is 34.65% against 57% vote bank, based on the last election in 2004. There is always 10 to 12.5% people in the undecided category, voting for the anti-incumbency!
Now DMDK - the party founded by Vijaykant and AIFB (original) headed by Karthik and BJP, plus JP, Pudhiya Thamilagam, along with other sundry parties, including the Agriculturists Party, might make a great impact and might even win! (130 out of 234, with a 33% vote bank)
All parties are trying to make the best, well educated, mannered and the best possible winnable candidates presented to people. All are willing to work for the people, giving away their efforts and hard earned cash!
Now it takes a whopping effort for the people, for all, to go out and vote and make their right choice.
Looking for ward for the results on May 13th, 2006. Stars are indicating that Vijaykant is the next Chief Minister of Tamilnadu, if he aligns with the BJP, JP, AIFB, Pudhiya Thamilagam and other parties - working on a co-alition government...
Thursday, March 23, 2006
Mahendra Singh Dhoni and Reliance ADAG
As a shareholder in RelCom, I am appalled by the decision of the Chairman Anil, to appoint the short swansong Dhoni (after seeing the second innings knock at Mumbai, getting out recklessly)... I am worried about what would happen to my as well other public investments.
Earlier there was Adlabs, might click, not this blunder.
If I were the CEO of RelCom, I would cancel the contract with Dhoni.
Earlier there was Adlabs, might click, not this blunder.
If I were the CEO of RelCom, I would cancel the contract with Dhoni.
Monday, March 20, 2006
Chicken, Flu (H5N1) and Homeopathy Cure!
I was reading the latest Health Magazine (march 2006 issue) from Dr.Batra's clinic and saw the editorial insight of Dr.Mukesh Batra, about the chicken etc.
He feels that all lives are created to co-exist and we should not eat meat. But he missed out on eating usign animal secretions! (milk, scent of a cat, fur etc.., )
Definitely homeopathy have cured 1918 Spanish Flu epidemic which killed 5 million people, and this homeo treatment could be the solution. You have to contact any home doctor for the influenzium of T500C.
Now we see deaths in India based on H5N1 at Maharastra.
May be there is a conspiracy of the Tamiflu producers ( Rs 3000/- a shot/course) let loose this H5N1. Robin cook novel, can talk in detail.
You can buy Homeo #24 from the counter for fighting vigor against any flu. Better check with your physician. I dont guarantee!
He feels that all lives are created to co-exist and we should not eat meat. But he missed out on eating usign animal secretions! (milk, scent of a cat, fur etc.., )
Definitely homeopathy have cured 1918 Spanish Flu epidemic which killed 5 million people, and this homeo treatment could be the solution. You have to contact any home doctor for the influenzium of T500C.
Now we see deaths in India based on H5N1 at Maharastra.
May be there is a conspiracy of the Tamiflu producers ( Rs 3000/- a shot/course) let loose this H5N1. Robin cook novel, can talk in detail.
You can buy Homeo #24 from the counter for fighting vigor against any flu. Better check with your physician. I dont guarantee!
Tuesday, March 14, 2006
Sabeer Bhatia and the BlogEverywhere.com
That seems to be a novel from Sabeer Bhatia. Sounds like a funda tool. I am not sure about the data surfing privacy that would offer.
I am also running around to VCs, to get funding for a new idea. Mobile voice to blog post. Two modes, complete confidential (intranet style) or password access. Then there is the regular access.
I am also running around to VCs, to get funding for a new idea. Mobile voice to blog post. Two modes, complete confidential (intranet style) or password access. Then there is the regular access.
Shock Victory for South Africa in One Day Cricket
Against Australia, South Africa has a memorable Gibbsed in a ODI recently on March 12, 2006.
Chasing 434/4 by Australia in 50 overs, they made 438/9, with a ball to spare on the flattest pitch at the Wanderers stadium. Alas, in Chennai, where I am living, due to the CAS (set top box ), we couldnt watch it, except on Star News for the final, nail biting over. The government should scrap the CAS or give it free. Now it costs rs 2919, plus taxes amounting to 3500 rs, and there is a monthly compusolry package of 230 to 299 rs. Now we pay flat at 100 rs only, even though it is expected to be at rs 72 only, rs 28 gets pocketed! No bills issued.
Mr.Ponting is stupid for not having shared the Man of the Match! Share the glory man!
Still they are celebrating!
Chasing 434/4 by Australia in 50 overs, they made 438/9, with a ball to spare on the flattest pitch at the Wanderers stadium. Alas, in Chennai, where I am living, due to the CAS (set top box ), we couldnt watch it, except on Star News for the final, nail biting over. The government should scrap the CAS or give it free. Now it costs rs 2919, plus taxes amounting to 3500 rs, and there is a monthly compusolry package of 230 to 299 rs. Now we pay flat at 100 rs only, even though it is expected to be at rs 72 only, rs 28 gets pocketed! No bills issued.
Mr.Ponting is stupid for not having shared the Man of the Match! Share the glory man!
Still they are celebrating!
How to make Rs 100000 a month not working?
Here it goes again!
Tons of internet advertisemetns, on varioud proper websites like Hindu, ValueresearchOnline etc, are pumping these advertisements. Funny!
How to make Rs 100000 a month not working? Can anybody guess?
Tons of internet advertisemetns, on varioud proper websites like Hindu, ValueresearchOnline etc, are pumping these advertisements. Funny!
How to make Rs 100000 a month not working? Can anybody guess?
A GLASS OF MILK
A Glass of Milk
One day, a poor boy who was selling goods from door to door to pay his way through school, found he had only one thin dime left, and he was hungry.He decided he would ask for a meal at the next house. However, he lost his nerve when a lovely young woman opened the door.Instead of a meal he asked for a drink of water. She thought he looked hungry so brought him a large glass of milk. He drank it slowly,and then asked, How much do I owe you? You don't owe me anything, she replied. "Mother has taught us never to accept pay for a kindness." He said..... "Then I thank you from my heart."As Howard Kelly left that house, he not only felt stronger physically, but his faith in God and man was strong also. He had been ready to give up and quit.Many year's later that same young woman became critically ill.The local doctors were baffled! They finally sent her to the big city, where they called in specialists to study her rare disease. Dr. Howard Kelly was called in for the consultation. When he heard the name of the town she came from, a strange light filled his eyes.Immediately he rose and went down the hall of the hospital to her room. Dressed in his doctor's gown he went in to see her. He recognized her at once. He went back to the consultation room determined to do his bestto save her life. From that day he gave special attention to her case. After a long struggle, the battle was won.Dr. Kelly requested the business office to pass the final bill to him for approval. He looked at it, then wrote something on the edge, and the bill was sent to her room. She feared to open it, for she was sure itwould take the rest of her life to pay for it all. Finally she looked, and something caught her attention on the side of the bill. She read these words....."Paid in full with one glass of milk" (Signed) Dr. HowardKelly. Tears of joy flooded her eyes as her happy heart prayed: "Thank You, God, that Your love has spread broad through human hearts and hands."There's a saying which goes something like this: Bread cast on the waters, comes back to you. The good deed you do today may benefit you or someone you love at the least expected time. If you never see the deed again at least you will have made the world a better place - And, after all, isn't that what life is all about?
One day, a poor boy who was selling goods from door to door to pay his way through school, found he had only one thin dime left, and he was hungry.He decided he would ask for a meal at the next house. However, he lost his nerve when a lovely young woman opened the door.Instead of a meal he asked for a drink of water. She thought he looked hungry so brought him a large glass of milk. He drank it slowly,and then asked, How much do I owe you? You don't owe me anything, she replied. "Mother has taught us never to accept pay for a kindness." He said..... "Then I thank you from my heart."As Howard Kelly left that house, he not only felt stronger physically, but his faith in God and man was strong also. He had been ready to give up and quit.Many year's later that same young woman became critically ill.The local doctors were baffled! They finally sent her to the big city, where they called in specialists to study her rare disease. Dr. Howard Kelly was called in for the consultation. When he heard the name of the town she came from, a strange light filled his eyes.Immediately he rose and went down the hall of the hospital to her room. Dressed in his doctor's gown he went in to see her. He recognized her at once. He went back to the consultation room determined to do his bestto save her life. From that day he gave special attention to her case. After a long struggle, the battle was won.Dr. Kelly requested the business office to pass the final bill to him for approval. He looked at it, then wrote something on the edge, and the bill was sent to her room. She feared to open it, for she was sure itwould take the rest of her life to pay for it all. Finally she looked, and something caught her attention on the side of the bill. She read these words....."Paid in full with one glass of milk" (Signed) Dr. HowardKelly. Tears of joy flooded her eyes as her happy heart prayed: "Thank You, God, that Your love has spread broad through human hearts and hands."There's a saying which goes something like this: Bread cast on the waters, comes back to you. The good deed you do today may benefit you or someone you love at the least expected time. If you never see the deed again at least you will have made the world a better place - And, after all, isn't that what life is all about?
Monday, March 13, 2006
India won against England at Mohali
It was a nice win for India with 9 wickets to spare on the last day at Mohali. About 180 overs were lost due to rain, still the match was over, when there was time left for anotehr 30 more.
Hats off to Kumle for his 500th wicket. He is a league of his own. Excellent. It was nice to see him groomign Piyush Chawla on debut. Harbhajan might have lost a bit, nevertheless, his support was crucial.
Sehwag, as usual, did well to come back well with a 76 not out. I think this is his second fifty plus score in the second innings, the first one being a century at New Zealand.
The team is same for the Mumbai test starting on March 18th, and I expect that the dust bowl would return, and the same team being fielded.
It was nice to see that the guy from bet365.com shown the doors, as it is illegal to bet in India!
Hats off to Kumle for his 500th wicket. He is a league of his own. Excellent. It was nice to see him groomign Piyush Chawla on debut. Harbhajan might have lost a bit, nevertheless, his support was crucial.
Sehwag, as usual, did well to come back well with a 76 not out. I think this is his second fifty plus score in the second innings, the first one being a century at New Zealand.
The team is same for the Mumbai test starting on March 18th, and I expect that the dust bowl would return, and the same team being fielded.
It was nice to see that the guy from bet365.com shown the doors, as it is illegal to bet in India!
Saturday, March 11, 2006
The gap between rich and poor - NRN Murthy
The gap between rich and poor countries has doubled in the past 40 years. ... There are 1.2 billion people in this world who live in extreme poverty, on income of less than $1 per day. About one billion people lack access to safe drinking water. ... Can we be catalysts in wiping the tears off the eyes of the poorest of the poor? Can the chime bring solace not just to the chosen few on this country but to a forlorn child in the remote lands of Africa? ... How can we address the myriad problems that cripple the development of mankind as a whole?'
Nagawara Ramarao Narayana Murthy like his divine wife Sudha Murthy does strongly believe in giving. Giving speeches, that is.
Nagawara Ramarao Narayana Murthy like his divine wife Sudha Murthy does strongly believe in giving. Giving speeches, that is.
Friday, March 10, 2006
The World's Top Ten Billionaires
The World's Top Ten Billionaires
#
Name
Net worth in $ billion
1
Bill Gates
50
2
Warren Buffet
42
3
Carlos Slim Helu
30
4
Ingvar Kamprad
28
5
Lakshmi Mittal
23.5
6
Paul Allen
22
7
Bernard Arnault
21.5
8
Prince Alwaleed Bin Talal Alsaud
20
9
Kenneth Thomson & family
19.6
10
Li Ka-shing
18.8
#
Name
Net worth in $ billion
1
Bill Gates
50
2
Warren Buffet
42
3
Carlos Slim Helu
30
4
Ingvar Kamprad
28
5
Lakshmi Mittal
23.5
6
Paul Allen
22
7
Bernard Arnault
21.5
8
Prince Alwaleed Bin Talal Alsaud
20
9
Kenneth Thomson & family
19.6
10
Li Ka-shing
18.8
Wednesday, March 08, 2006
Fabmall is the best site for Online shopping
Fabmall.com is the best site for Online shopping. Value for money.
Monday, March 06, 2006
Indiatimes - Cheaters on Online Shopping
This episode is a warning for the online shoppers...
I regularly look for deals online and order VCDs for my family.
I recently had very bad experience on the online store of Indiatimes group. http://store.indiatimes.com
Lots of cheating goes on in terms of what is offered and what is given.
(1) I had ordered Hanuman VCD, and I was to get Popeye VCD and Spiderman VCD free. It is not given.
(2) Also to my anguish I see that the cost of Mitr My friend VCD on price tag MRP is rs 199/- only, whereas I have been billed rs 299/-. This amounts to cheating, Sec 420 under IPC.
I have also written about this to Raj Sardesai of CNN IBN, as they have exposed so many things on the CNN IBN channel and I hope they would run a small story, not considering this as trivial.
I regularly look for deals online and order VCDs for my family.
I recently had very bad experience on the online store of Indiatimes group. http://store.indiatimes.com
Lots of cheating goes on in terms of what is offered and what is given.
(1) I had ordered Hanuman VCD, and I was to get Popeye VCD and Spiderman VCD free. It is not given.
(2) Also to my anguish I see that the cost of Mitr My friend VCD on price tag MRP is rs 199/- only, whereas I have been billed rs 299/-. This amounts to cheating, Sec 420 under IPC.
I have also written about this to Raj Sardesai of CNN IBN, as they have exposed so many things on the CNN IBN channel and I hope they would run a small story, not considering this as trivial.
Friday, March 03, 2006
About starting a software co. with Rs 10,000/-
I keep reading about Infosys and Polaris, starting as a software co. with Rs 10,000/- as initial capital.
Just a few paise worth my thoughts, as I have run my own co. too.... for 9 months and blew Rs. 70 lakhs in all, having about 20 employees in a very comfortable office. In the last part, I couldnt afford running my own paid website, so switched to the one hosted by Tripod.
You would need at least 25 lakhs to run a co. in today terms, to establish and pay rent and develop something and market for 6 months, on the meagre side. I did few trips abroad and spent few lakhs more apart from spending few lakhs on meeting VC's in India.
On indexing the above amount (even if other founders have worked for free!) it would have costed Infosys atleast 2 lakhs (conservative) those days of 1981... For that matter for Polaris it would have costed about 10 lakhs (very conservative) in 1993.
My friend, who is aged 70 and a famous old writer says, you need to contact the right powerful people in the right time, willing to take risk in your name. (benami's)
Just a few paise worth my thoughts, as I have run my own co. too.... for 9 months and blew Rs. 70 lakhs in all, having about 20 employees in a very comfortable office. In the last part, I couldnt afford running my own paid website, so switched to the one hosted by Tripod.
You would need at least 25 lakhs to run a co. in today terms, to establish and pay rent and develop something and market for 6 months, on the meagre side. I did few trips abroad and spent few lakhs more apart from spending few lakhs on meeting VC's in India.
On indexing the above amount (even if other founders have worked for free!) it would have costed Infosys atleast 2 lakhs (conservative) those days of 1981... For that matter for Polaris it would have costed about 10 lakhs (very conservative) in 1993.
My friend, who is aged 70 and a famous old writer says, you need to contact the right powerful people in the right time, willing to take risk in your name. (benami's)
About Swing Trading in Stock Markets
There are enough websites in the world, promising people to make money on the day trading, based on the swing. I understand all the web trading companies provide for the margin trading and the recently listed bulls co made 500 crore rupees profit last year only on financing!
When I lost money running my own co. at Coimbatore called Sharon Software Systems (http://www.sharonsoftsys.com ) and lost more than 25 lakhs in around 9 months apart from the 100 K USD given by the angel investor, wanted to recover quick buck from stock market, so a good friend who is a freelancing investor advised me on margin trading, which was to buy 5 times the value of stock at 10 AM, and sell at 2 PM the same day (with profit or loss), mostly at loss and lost a lakh. The fun part was, I even got back some of my money given as brokerage (charged for all the stocks bought and sold)....
This is a quick note and humble input.
When I lost money running my own co. at Coimbatore called Sharon Software Systems (http://www.sharonsoftsys.com ) and lost more than 25 lakhs in around 9 months apart from the 100 K USD given by the angel investor, wanted to recover quick buck from stock market, so a good friend who is a freelancing investor advised me on margin trading, which was to buy 5 times the value of stock at 10 AM, and sell at 2 PM the same day (with profit or loss), mostly at loss and lost a lakh. The fun part was, I even got back some of my money given as brokerage (charged for all the stocks bought and sold)....
This is a quick note and humble input.
Thursday, March 02, 2006
Da Vinci Code in Court
"The Da Vinci Code" is on best seller lists for three years, and now moviwe is getting ready.
There is a court case that has perhaps as many twists and plot turns as the novel itself, the book's author Dan Brown is being called a thief.
There are two authors claim much of what's in "The Da Vinci Code" was their idea and was stolen from their book, "The Holy Blood and the Holy Grail", a work of non-fiction, first published 24 years ago. They're suing the publisher, for breach of copyright. Dan Brown, who wrote "The Da Vinci Code", will be a key witness. He has made a fortune off the book, selling 40 million copies, but denies he stole anything.
The 2 books do share common themes: that Jesus did not die on the cross, that he married Mary Magdalene, had a child, and that bloodline continues to this day. Both books are published by the same company, which issued this statement: ".... takes no pleasure in defending a legal action that it believes is without merit and we are confident we will prevail."
"In non-fiction, it's always been understood that there's no monopoly of ideas when something's out in the public domain. You can use it, you can adapt it," said a copyright law expert.
Publicity is good news for places like Rosslyn Chapel in Scotland, setting of the book's climax. Visitor numbers have tripled. There are millions of dollars at stake. The movie's release in the UK could be delayed, and if the case succeeds, it could send a chill through the world of fiction.
Click here to visit the movie's homepage.
Click here to visit the About.com that gives background on the book and the theory.
There is a court case that has perhaps as many twists and plot turns as the novel itself, the book's author Dan Brown is being called a thief.
There are two authors claim much of what's in "The Da Vinci Code" was their idea and was stolen from their book, "The Holy Blood and the Holy Grail", a work of non-fiction, first published 24 years ago. They're suing the publisher, for breach of copyright. Dan Brown, who wrote "The Da Vinci Code", will be a key witness. He has made a fortune off the book, selling 40 million copies, but denies he stole anything.
The 2 books do share common themes: that Jesus did not die on the cross, that he married Mary Magdalene, had a child, and that bloodline continues to this day. Both books are published by the same company, which issued this statement: ".... takes no pleasure in defending a legal action that it believes is without merit and we are confident we will prevail."
"In non-fiction, it's always been understood that there's no monopoly of ideas when something's out in the public domain. You can use it, you can adapt it," said a copyright law expert.
Publicity is good news for places like Rosslyn Chapel in Scotland, setting of the book's climax. Visitor numbers have tripled. There are millions of dollars at stake. The movie's release in the UK could be delayed, and if the case succeeds, it could send a chill through the world of fiction.
Click here to visit the movie's homepage.
Click here to visit the About.com that gives background on the book and the theory.
Wednesday, March 01, 2006
You are a Desi if
Some Observations on Desi Yankee Dudes & Dudees
Also called as
You are a Desi if...
These are some creatures who try to emulate the locals, even though they dont fit in!
General
- Calling honey, their spouses!
- Say liddle instead of little
- and wader for water
- the day they land in USA, they try to accentuate, with hisses and hmm hmm's
- say achcha - achcha to americans
- say damil instead of Thamizh (Tamil)
- always bring in conversation, that if it had been in India, things would have been worse
- get agitated when someone calls you Gulti, but rant in every conversation about tamil’s as aravams (noise in an empty pot)
- northies always end the English sentence with yaar
- use mouth and tongue to make a peculiar noise to say no, like in desh ( INDIA)!
- Go with local/Americans for lunch at work, than desi peers!
- Never give a call to a friend after he leaves the place, forgetting that he helped to set foot in USA and saved your job!
- Say liddle instead of little
- and wader for water
- the day they land in USA, they try to accentuate, with hisses and hmm hmm's
- say achcha - achcha to americans
- say damil instead of Thamizh (Tamil)
- always bring in conversation, that if it had been in India, things would have been worse
- get agitated when someone calls you Gulti, but rant in every conversation about tamil’s as aravams (noise in an empty pot)
- northies always end the English sentence with yaar
- use mouth and tongue to make a peculiar noise to say no, like in desh ( INDIA)!
- Go with local/Americans for lunch at work, than desi peers!
- Never give a call to a friend after he leaves the place, forgetting that he helped to set foot in USA and saved your job!
Peculiarities
- Carry lotsa pennies to India as gifts, and what are goodwill and dollar shops for, shouldn’t forget, Kmart & Wal-Mart clearance items, and wholesale club shampoo bottles
- drive h o n d a (whondhao) or t o y o t a (toiattaa) and brag about it
- talk about cheap air tickets and frequent flier miles
- talk about long distance telephone companies than calling card
- make sure nephew or niece gets a copy of Peter Funk at the first day of private engineering college at an unknown location like gollikalipalayam
- wear lungi here at home but wear only shorts in India to show off!
- Smuggle Indian junk and food items against US Laws into USA!
- Smuggle Indian junk and water bottles into theatres
- keep creating different user names to get free months of internet access at home
- drive twenty miles to work on Saturdays and Sundays to surf the net and make free calls
- say 'just wader' in a cocktail lounge
- take credit on one minute long distance calls
- talk about taxes and cuts
- talk about priority numbers
- talk about going back to India ( z = z+1 syndrome ) and be the first one to apply for green card
- say zee instead of ‘ezed’ for the letter 'z'
- return the video cassettes late and pay for only one week, borrow the borrowed one
- pool in for a single quarter at the slot machine in a casino
- ladies change hairstyle saying its easy to maintain, than telling the truth that, yes I want to look different!
- keep calling long distance co's to check on rates to call india
- see movies only at dollar theatres
- drive h o n d a (whondhao) or t o y o t a (toiattaa) and brag about it
- talk about cheap air tickets and frequent flier miles
- talk about long distance telephone companies than calling card
- make sure nephew or niece gets a copy of Peter Funk at the first day of private engineering college at an unknown location like gollikalipalayam
- wear lungi here at home but wear only shorts in India to show off!
- Smuggle Indian junk and food items against US Laws into USA!
- Smuggle Indian junk and water bottles into theatres
- keep creating different user names to get free months of internet access at home
- drive twenty miles to work on Saturdays and Sundays to surf the net and make free calls
- say 'just wader' in a cocktail lounge
- take credit on one minute long distance calls
- talk about taxes and cuts
- talk about priority numbers
- talk about going back to India ( z = z+1 syndrome ) and be the first one to apply for green card
- say zee instead of ‘ezed’ for the letter 'z'
- return the video cassettes late and pay for only one week, borrow the borrowed one
- pool in for a single quarter at the slot machine in a casino
- ladies change hairstyle saying its easy to maintain, than telling the truth that, yes I want to look different!
- keep calling long distance co's to check on rates to call india
- see movies only at dollar theatres
Food Habits
- say to friends that you only drink diet coke, than the regular
- spend $19.95 on an unknown food, tasteless item, than spend on a sumptuous desi meal for 4.95, and even if so, wonder why they are charging so many rupees?
- make sure bachelor friends pays at restaurants since u feed them at home quite often ( 2 times a yr )
- don’t mind spending money on junk food, than call friends to keep in touch once a while ( even 5c calling plans wont help )
- never invite American guys to their house and keep wondering why they don’t invite you?
- When it is Dutch treat, always count you and your wife together as one!
- Eat beef burger to save money and project to others that you are vegetarian
- pack and bring all the pickles and groceries from India, even though the same will be available here at 10% the price!
- Make sure that house smell with stale spice always, including cars
- pack left-overs at the buffet
- make sure you take rice & sambar to work, and make whole office smell!
- Cook fired food and make sure the fire alarm goes off at home and act as if nothing happened when fire dept comes!
- spend $19.95 on an unknown food, tasteless item, than spend on a sumptuous desi meal for 4.95, and even if so, wonder why they are charging so many rupees?
- make sure bachelor friends pays at restaurants since u feed them at home quite often ( 2 times a yr )
- don’t mind spending money on junk food, than call friends to keep in touch once a while ( even 5c calling plans wont help )
- never invite American guys to their house and keep wondering why they don’t invite you?
- When it is Dutch treat, always count you and your wife together as one!
- Eat beef burger to save money and project to others that you are vegetarian
- pack and bring all the pickles and groceries from India, even though the same will be available here at 10% the price!
- Make sure that house smell with stale spice always, including cars
- pack left-overs at the buffet
- make sure you take rice & sambar to work, and make whole office smell!
- Cook fired food and make sure the fire alarm goes off at home and act as if nothing happened when fire dept comes!
Friends & Relations
- As soon as a friend lands in USA, tell him phone calls are expensive, and tell him, let him call back and humiliate him... that too that will be only once!
- Call friends at odd like, like after 11pm to save money to get some benefit for you!
- Even when friends call, something always comes up, so you gotta go, the real reason being, yeah right, next time I should call him, why should I?
- Even if friends call after years together, always tell them you were thinking of calling them that time!
- Don’t entertain old friends, but try to impress colleagues, such that there can be some leverage at the water coolers! (Talk - they wont turn back on you )
- Always something comes up when long weekend nears, such that you need not invite friends over!
- Even if the friend bumps/knows that you are visiting the same city, San Francisco, than you told about visiting, make up something to tell that you are en route, like going to Vancouver (Canada) to meet brother
- if you don’t want him to come to your home (telling that you are going out of town, forgetting that it just takes a phone call for him to verify! ) and be in town when he makes a visit, make sure that common friends tell the same, and make'em liars who are visiting you, to tell the one you dont want to visit, that they are going somewhere, even after that friend had made arrangements, like booking tickets etc ( eventually it was used! ).... Finally the story comes out ugly!
- Even if the friend turns up in San Francisco and checks on you, make up something to tell that your plan got cancelled!
- Tell that the other friend told that he/she was not comfortable staying with the friend even though that he/she arranges to pile on at the same place through your friend
- even if you visit a town where your relative lives and your friend stays there, dont visit him there, and give reasons like, your relative is dead or something...
- try to mingle with same community even if the other person is uncomfortable!
- Give a ride to a friend to/from airport and make sure he repays you with treats equivalent to the limo fare of the ride
- Talk of getting together with classmates for years (5,10, 15, 20, 25 year re-unions)!
- Run to a stupid tax preparer even though you were the advisor to all friends on filing
- run away from accidents and try to create alibi at another friends place
- always say that that classmate will be same, even after years, old habits die hard
- forget sending marriage invitation cards (anyway they are here! they wont come to desh!)
- Borrow money from friends to invest in stock markets, telling him you have some emergency!
- Claim that made money or lost in investments (fake), since there is nothing to talk! (I shorted and lost 8k man)
- get restraining orders for hitting on a junkie ABCD and brag about it!
- Visit all the junkie bars and claim to be a puritan, Oh Rama!
- Bachelors worry why families get more money in paycheck?
- Lure (mafia like) your friends into the business activity, MLM and now Internet Virtual Mall! (Threaten your friends to join calling him at 10 PM in the night)
- Convince friends not to apply for green card, secretly wishing, 'yes one or more number is reduced'!
- Make sure bachelor/married friends bring costly gifts/toys for kids birthday parties and feed them at the funkiest restaurant, worth pennies!
- Call friends at odd like, like after 11pm to save money to get some benefit for you!
- Even when friends call, something always comes up, so you gotta go, the real reason being, yeah right, next time I should call him, why should I?
- Even if friends call after years together, always tell them you were thinking of calling them that time!
- Don’t entertain old friends, but try to impress colleagues, such that there can be some leverage at the water coolers! (Talk - they wont turn back on you )
- Always something comes up when long weekend nears, such that you need not invite friends over!
- Even if the friend bumps/knows that you are visiting the same city, San Francisco, than you told about visiting, make up something to tell that you are en route, like going to Vancouver (Canada) to meet brother
- if you don’t want him to come to your home (telling that you are going out of town, forgetting that it just takes a phone call for him to verify! ) and be in town when he makes a visit, make sure that common friends tell the same, and make'em liars who are visiting you, to tell the one you dont want to visit, that they are going somewhere, even after that friend had made arrangements, like booking tickets etc ( eventually it was used! ).... Finally the story comes out ugly!
- Even if the friend turns up in San Francisco and checks on you, make up something to tell that your plan got cancelled!
- Tell that the other friend told that he/she was not comfortable staying with the friend even though that he/she arranges to pile on at the same place through your friend
- even if you visit a town where your relative lives and your friend stays there, dont visit him there, and give reasons like, your relative is dead or something...
- try to mingle with same community even if the other person is uncomfortable!
- Give a ride to a friend to/from airport and make sure he repays you with treats equivalent to the limo fare of the ride
- Talk of getting together with classmates for years (5,10, 15, 20, 25 year re-unions)!
- Run to a stupid tax preparer even though you were the advisor to all friends on filing
- run away from accidents and try to create alibi at another friends place
- always say that that classmate will be same, even after years, old habits die hard
- forget sending marriage invitation cards (anyway they are here! they wont come to desh!)
- Borrow money from friends to invest in stock markets, telling him you have some emergency!
- Claim that made money or lost in investments (fake), since there is nothing to talk! (I shorted and lost 8k man)
- get restraining orders for hitting on a junkie ABCD and brag about it!
- Visit all the junkie bars and claim to be a puritan, Oh Rama!
- Bachelors worry why families get more money in paycheck?
- Lure (mafia like) your friends into the business activity, MLM and now Internet Virtual Mall! (Threaten your friends to join calling him at 10 PM in the night)
- Convince friends not to apply for green card, secretly wishing, 'yes one or more number is reduced'!
- Make sure bachelor/married friends bring costly gifts/toys for kids birthday parties and feed them at the funkiest restaurant, worth pennies!
Marriage & Relations
- Marry a girl just by seeing her in a photo and talk over phone, nice isn't it?
- Give your other friends advice on marriage, just after few days of your own one, which would have started being a disaster from day one!
- Bachelor friends start talking about hitting on white chicks or ABCD's, even though secretly wishing that’s you should get married to a girl from same community with lotsa money, parents are happy right?
- Talk finding a match on Internet is useless and be the first one to put an Advt. in the matrimonial.com
- Marry before your elder brother and elder sister back in India
- Visit only married friends after marriage and exchange leftovers.
- Make fun of bachelors after marriage, forgetting that he was one before!
- Marry a junk desi in USA, meeting him/her, just to boast that you fell in love!
- Share apt with a bachelor, even if you are newly married, saying that he is a close friend, missing close romantic moments!
- Give your other friends advice on marriage, just after few days of your own one, which would have started being a disaster from day one!
- Bachelor friends start talking about hitting on white chicks or ABCD's, even though secretly wishing that’s you should get married to a girl from same community with lotsa money, parents are happy right?
- Talk finding a match on Internet is useless and be the first one to put an Advt. in the matrimonial.com
- Marry before your elder brother and elder sister back in India
- Visit only married friends after marriage and exchange leftovers.
- Make fun of bachelors after marriage, forgetting that he was one before!
- Marry a junk desi in USA, meeting him/her, just to boast that you fell in love!
- Share apt with a bachelor, even if you are newly married, saying that he is a close friend, missing close romantic moments!
Family & Kids
- Have another kid to get the Child Tax Credit
- Make sure wife does all the work at home even if she is working!
- Torture wife to learn visual basic and oracle even though she is BA or MA. (English)
- join kids in public schools and lie to friends that it is a private school! (And I am paying about $250 a month you know, like 15,000 rupees yaar?)
- Take kids to free parks or free circus!
- Always take kids to kids eat free places
- Families always pack leftovers for bachelors which will spoil any moment
- Pack leftover pizza in kids lunch boxes, than pay 45c for cafeteria...
- Bring brother-in-law (M.Sc. Zoo) from India and convert him to program in 6 months! (I have to support him man)
- Make sure wife does all the work at home even if she is working!
- Torture wife to learn visual basic and oracle even though she is BA or MA. (English)
- join kids in public schools and lie to friends that it is a private school! (And I am paying about $250 a month you know, like 15,000 rupees yaar?)
- Take kids to free parks or free circus!
- Always take kids to kids eat free places
- Families always pack leftovers for bachelors which will spoil any moment
- Pack leftover pizza in kids lunch boxes, than pay 45c for cafeteria...
- Bring brother-in-law (M.Sc. Zoo) from India and convert him to program in 6 months! (I have to support him man)
Career & Work!
- Finish the tasks given by Yankees in one-tenth of the time and slack the rest browsing Internet!
- Always use office phone to call friends
- Use much of office time to browse about india on internet at work or make long distance calls!
- Always wonder learning Java or CORBA or COM is better than improve current skills
- Lure friends to join their junk companies for that darn referral fee!
- Always keep wondering why the other guy with SAPERP skill makes more money than you!
- Go to India to get trained on SAP or PeopleSoft (only 15,000/- rupees man!) and come back and work for lesser salary in the old job!
- Bribe your project boss with a share in overtime to stay in that project slacking for long after of not getting future work!
- Be on bench and get paid as low as possible living a carefree life, calling it land of paradise, just to show off!
- Once you get green card start your own company, bodyshopping, to make more money then realize it is not worth it!
- Keep planning to go back to India (x = x + 1 syndrome)
- Don’t understand that life is far better in INDIA than in USA unless it is for making money!
- Use much of office time to browse about india on internet at work or make long distance calls!
- Always wonder learning Java or CORBA or COM is better than improve current skills
- Lure friends to join their junk companies for that darn referral fee!
- Always keep wondering why the other guy with SAPERP skill makes more money than you!
- Go to India to get trained on SAP or PeopleSoft (only 15,000/- rupees man!) and come back and work for lesser salary in the old job!
- Bribe your project boss with a share in overtime to stay in that project slacking for long after of not getting future work!
- Be on bench and get paid as low as possible living a carefree life, calling it land of paradise, just to show off!
- Once you get green card start your own company, bodyshopping, to make more money then realize it is not worth it!
- Keep planning to go back to India (x = x + 1 syndrome)
- Don’t understand that life is far better in INDIA than in USA unless it is for making money!
Health
- Always use eucalyptus oil, for any kind of disease including headache, even though the HMO/PPO covers it.
- Check whether you can buy Zandu balm using the prescription
- go to a plan doctor 45 miles away, than go to a non-plan doctor 1 mile away to save $ 2/-
- get the teeth and eye fixed to get more money in the dowry market
- join health club and visit only once in a month ($37 man)
- always keep ranting that, today’s quota of vitamins have been taken...
- bring in sick mother-in-law to take care of new born baby, costing more money to treat her, than to hire an au-pair
- Check whether you can buy Zandu balm using the prescription
- go to a plan doctor 45 miles away, than go to a non-plan doctor 1 mile away to save $ 2/-
- get the teeth and eye fixed to get more money in the dowry market
- join health club and visit only once in a month ($37 man)
- always keep ranting that, today’s quota of vitamins have been taken...
- bring in sick mother-in-law to take care of new born baby, costing more money to treat her, than to hire an au-pair
Note: This is written to symbolize the Indian living in the US as seen by me ( protected by copyright laws worldwide ), and if you have any problem reading it or understand it, including internal meanings, please email me!
Aishwarya invited for lunch with Bush
What is happening to the world? Dont we need the real politico bigwigs take care of things at the Dubya meeting? He is supposed to be the most powerful man in the world and this news, yuck!
Indians have to learn.
Be polite dude.
Indians have to learn.
Be polite dude.
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