Sunday, August 13, 2006

Job Application Goof Ups

Lifted from the Net.... as multiple emails sent to me with no copyrights on this. Enjoy!

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Cover letter: "I would be prepared to meet with you at your earliest convenience to discuss what I can do to your company."

That's what we're afraid of.
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Weaknesses: "Suffer from prickly heat in summer."

Sounds uncomfortable.
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Cover letter: "Enclosed is my resume for your viewing pleasure."

We can hardly wait.
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Cover letter: "You are privileged to receive my resume."

We'll try not to let it go to our heads.
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Objective: "To mature in the field of human behavior."

Good luck with that.
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Experience: "10 years of experience in financail budgiting and transactions rigistering."

But limited experience with the spell-check function.
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Cover letter: "Please overlook my resume."

If you insist.
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Cover letter: "I'm submitting the attached copy of my resume for your consumption."

Yum.
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Skills: "Grate communication skills."

Yes, but can you talk and chop at the same time?
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Experience: "Responsibilities included recruiting, screening, interviewing and executing final candidates."

Seems kind of harsh
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Cover letter: "Salary demanded - $65,000."

Would you like that in small, unmarked bills?
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Strengths: "Ability to meet deadlines while maintaining composer."

Would that be Mozart or Beethoven?
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Education: "B.A. in Loberal Arts."

Did you minor in ear piercing?
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Cover letter: "I've updated my resume so it's more appalling to employers."

We're pretty shocked already ...
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Cover letter: "Seek challenges that test my mind and body, since the two are usually inseparable."

Glad to hear it.
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Cover letter: "My intensity and focus are at inordinately high levels, and my ability to complete projects on time is unspeakable."

At these extremes, some things are best left unsaid.
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Cover letter: "Experienced in all faucets of accounting."

That should help with the flow of information.
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