FUNNY STUFF

ROMANCE MATHEMATICS

Smart man + smart woman = romance

Smart man + dumb woman = affair

Dumb man + smart woman = marriage

Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy


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OFFICE ARITHMETIC


Smart boss + smart employee = profit

Smart boss + dumb employee = production

Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion

Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime


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SHOPPING MATH


A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.

A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.


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GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS


A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

A successful woman is one who can find such a man.


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HAPPINESS


To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a
little.

To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand
her at all.


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LONGEVITY


Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more
willing to die.


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PROPENSITY TO CHANGE


A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.


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DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE


A woman has the last word in any argument.

Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.